==:: 2006 ::==

It's already the 3rd day of 2006.
I have been busy as usual.
Busy with spending whatever free time I have left to do whatever I have to do.
I am stretched so thin, time-wise, that I crave for a total chill-out time all to myself.
And that time can only be found when I am at the Spa.
The soothing music and the soft lighting, etc. all help to calm me a little bit.

But I really wish I could have a proper break away from everything.
Right now, it's to break away from my mother.
Not that I don't love her, but she's getting on my nerves lately.
She is increasingly insistent that whatever she says/thinks is right most of the time.
It also upsets me that while she doesn't know what the term "emotional blackmail" is, she is practising it on me knowing that I am a filial child and gives in to her demands.
And when she wants something done, she wants it done NOW.
Not to mention that she also has the habit of not telling you directly what she wants you to do.
She leaves the interpretation open to you.
She uses this "implied"/subliminal messages on most things.
Even when she voices an opinion!
I must have put up with this annoying habit of hers since young.
Perhaps I'm running out of patience in general.
Or perhaps she's practising this behaviour more often nowadays.
I really can't say.

For instance, this hospital visit that my uncle (her brother from a neighbouring country) is going for tomorrow.
I have accompanied him to the specialist's clinic on 2 previous occasions, when my mother used emotional blackmail on me.
On both occasions, the entire morning and afternoon were taken up just simply waiting around for my uncle's turn to be seen by the specialist consultant.
During his first visit, he had 3 useless male friends who were merely here to enjoy a good curry after the consultation.
Not even the loudest and seemingly "knowledgeable" friend out of the 3 wanted to accompany my uncle into the consultation room, and left me to do it instead.
On my uncle's second visit, he only had his company driver accompany him to the hospital, where my mother and I met up with them - much like the first time.

Now, I love my uncle to bits, but my mother was insensitive to the fact that I was still trying to recover from my nasty recurring flu on both occasions, and unfortunately on both times after the hospital trips, my flu got worse.
It was because the air-conditioning at the hospital was too cold, and I have low resistance to cold places in general.
Makes one wonder how I survived a total of 8.5 years in the UK before, eh?

Coming back to the hospital visit.
As usual, my mother was expecting me to accompany her and my uncle tomorrow.
Right now, she isn't that happy that I have chosen to stay home.
For the simple reason that I can't miss an important call from my new employer for tentatively tomorrow or possibly Thursday, asking me to sign the appointment letter before I start work next week.
It's not convenient to take any call while at the hospital.
I've tried that before - there isn't a place where you could communicate clearly due to weak reception, plus running the risk of having everyone else listening in to your conversation.
Not to mention the possibility of missing the call if the ringing sound/vibration from the mobilephone isn't detected.
My mother isn't deliberately inconsiderate, but sometimes, her priorities are all wrong.

She is also a worrier of the extreme kind.
She will stress herself out over minute things, and that stress tranfers to all those who come into contact with her.
And yet, I can't say all these that I've observed in her.
Not especially to her!
If I did, she would get all defensive and upset.
I know her too well!

All this is extremely distressing for me.
Especially so when I have to control my temper when such behaviour extends to outside the home!
Due to the nature of the family business that my parents are in, people around the neighbourhood knows (of) me.
And when I lose my patience with my mother while being out, others tend to view it as me being at fault or being rude to her.

I am determined to find my own place to live as soon as I am settled into my new job.
I shall give the excuse that it's too far for me to travel to work and back everyday...