Life's complications

I met up with a newish friend for dinner last night.
I only got to know her by coincidence back in May this year.
She was introduced to me when I met up with another friend whom I've known for years, for drinks.
I've met up with this newish friend a couple more times since, and I thought she is like any other friends of mine - nice.
More clarifications about that last statement in awhile.

I had arranged to meet up with her last night for 2 reasons.
Firstly, it was because she is taking off to Nepal shortly (for goodness knows how long).
Secondly, it's her birthday this coming Thursday.
Dinner started off well enough - we exchanged news.
Then we proceeded to have after-dinner coffee at a coffee joint.
That's where the mood changed.

The coffee-chat became a counselling session - me, the counsellor, and she, the 'patient'.
I found out that my friend has stopped eating.
And that she has no will to live.
Although she ate quite normally with me, that, she explained, was because there was someone who ate with her.
Being orphaned at an early age, and with 2 of her three elder, married siblings residing overseas and a younger one recently married locally, my friend said she had never felt like she could relate to her siblings.
Or belonged anywhere.
She said that at times, she felt as if she was like one of those local elderly people living on their own in a one-room flat.
She even said she feared that she might waste away and die without anyone knowing.
And all that, I do believe, are signs of depression.

My friend said she has been to see a professional counsellor, but she has continued to struggle with this problem of hers.
The situation is compounded by the fact that she is also trying very hard to finish off a part-time Masters course, and in the final stages of putting together a dissertation for submission.
I pointed out that she should be building up strength and energy for such a challenging task of writing, and perhaps that she should put that aside for now and try to start eating properly again.
I also suggested that perhaps trying to do other things to take her mind off the pressure of writing, like light exercising, would help.
Then she suddenly started crying.
She said in her condition, she doubted if she could exercise much without fainting.

During the entire hour, while I was trying to make helpful suggestions for my friend to consider following, she would keep replying with the word "but".
I was helpless.
The priority was to make my friend be aware that without eating properly, she won't be able to handle much else.
I have honestly tried my best to help in the way I thought was good for her, but getting non-positive responses was making me frustrated at the same time.
I even suggested that she make a one-day timetable to follow.
The kind that lists timings for mealtimes, work, etc.
I even said she could consider making use of an alarm clock to remind her to eat!
Unfortunately for my friend, she has severe food-allergy problem.
Which means there isn't much food she can eat or interest her to eat.

As one can see, I couldn't do much after that.
Except to call it a night and that I'll check back on her from time to time.
I was mellow when I got home.
Talking to a couple of friends who happened to call me on the phone helped.
Isn't life complicated???