Saturday, July 23, 2005

Insult or flattery?

I know of an acquaintance that has started making daily contact with me since we got to know each other sometime back.
And by daily contact, I mean be it via phone calls or text messages on the mobile (that is, more so than meeting up in person).
I generally appreciate such kind acts, if the gesture is genuinely to secure the newly acquired relations.
AND for the right reasons.
In this case, I do wonder...

But first, let me explain.

The situation:
In one of our conversations, this acquaintance said it will be cool to be hanging out with me regularly.
When I asked why, this person said, "at least you are not dumb or stupid."
Out of curiousity, I asked him jokingly whether that meant all the people this person has hung out with so far were dumb or stupid.
The reply was "I figured if I hung out with someone of high academic qualifications like you, your intelligence may rub off on me."

The problem:
Am I supposed to feel insulted or flattered?
Insulted - because that means the sincerity at wanting me as a friend is purely because of my academic qualifications.
And NOT because of who I am.
Flattered - that is pretty obvious (because he feels that I am smart).


The solution:
I told this acquaintance that first of all, I am not THAT smart.
And I also added that even if I were smart, I shouldn't be given the pressure to HAVE to be smart all the time, and that sometimes, I would like to have the freedom to be dumb too (in other words, I would like to be just ME).
Finally, I also said that if that's the only reason that he wants to hang out with me, then I'm not really worth it.

The question:
I was prepared not to hear back from this person altogether, hoping that he got the hint that I wasn't impressed.
Little did I realise that this person continued to touch-base with me on a daily basis.
And pretended nothing has happened.
Now, is this person REALLY dumb, or acting dumb???


Beats me.

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